Always the bridesmaid...

I'm sure most single women would agree that being such is a blessing! It's a carefree life most of the time but when it's not, the black hole of loneliness can swallow you whole. It can drive you into the arms of a Mr. Wrong and cause you to compromise your standards. Sis, I understand! Social media bombards us with everyone's highlight reels and it can be so overwhelming to see wedding season come and go, with beautiful dresses, happy couples and sometimes (admittably) questionable wedding hashtags and suddenly anxiety takes a hold of you. "When will it be my turn?" you ask yourself. Engagement photos are everywhere and there's not even a glimpse of your man coming over the Himalayas. It can get frustrating to see the years roll by and feel like life is just passing you by. It can start to feel like things will never happen for you. Everybody is getting swept off of their feet and you are still single. You know, the whole ‘always the bridesmaid and never the bride’ thing. Despite how long you may have been waiting for God to send Mr. Right, I want you to remember that you can't get what God has for you by doing things the devil's way. Giving your body to a man won't make him put a ring on your finger. Trying to change Mr. Wrong won't turn him into Mr. Right. Stop. Rest. Wait on God. The Israelites wandered in the desert for 40 yrs because of their disobedience. Don't let that be you. Don't be a hamster on a wheel, making movements but getting nowhere. If you're in a messy situation today, you don't have to stay there. You can't change the past but you CAN change your future. Starting now, resolve that you want God's will for your life, that you want His BEST for you! Know that you won't be able to see God's best when he comes if Mr. Wrong is in your bed, obscuring your vision. The most regrettable thing you could do is to go around the same mountain for years, never meeting Mr. Right because you are distracted by counterfeits who treat your heart like it's disposable. You deserve so much better! A virtuous woman, who can find? Her WORTH is far above rubies. I was reading a book of true stories recently and I was hit with the reality of who I was and what my life looks like when held up to the example of the Proverbs 31 woman. The young man in the book was a virgin, who was intent on waiting until marriage to have sex. Along the way, he encountered several Christian women who pressured him to 'get physical'. When he denied their advances and maintained his standard of purity, they ended up cheating on him, one even getting pregnant for another man. The entire scenario made me reevaluate my life, my heart and my preparation process. Will I be someone who seeks to detract value from a man or add it? What is my value? I know we are all valuable in Christ but I'm talking about my ability to add to someone's life? Will I be walking into marriage with nothing to offer but my body? I have to be able to ADD VALUE to that man's life, just like he needs to be able to add value to mine. There are many questions I have to ask myself. Do I have the discipline to be faithful? Can I go to war for the anointing that is on His life? Can I pray him through dark times? Can I feed that man when he gets hungry huh 👀? Can I be PATIENT when he takes longer to change than I think he should? Am I prepared to build that man up with my words and not be petty 🤔? Have I amassed anything of value in my singleness (spiritual, emotional or financial value) that I can bring to the table of marriage? Essentially, AM I READY? How do you maximise your value? By walking in your God-given purpose. God is not about to give you a man for you to replace Him with. He’s not obligated to fulfill or finance YOUR desires. He's committed to your PURPOSE. If your desires and your purpose don't coincide...welp. As harsh as it sounds, your 'yes' is more important to God that your happiness. What has God been telling you to do that you've been procrastinating about? What has God been telling you to do that you've been too fearful to do? Marriage may be a part of God's purpose for you but before He leads you into that season of your life, He needs to know that you won't sacrifice your purpose on the altar of your happiness or that you won't sabotage your destiny for a few moments of pleasure. Put your hands to the plow and PREPARE for what you're praying for. I recently did a workshop and the presenter was talking about how to achieve your dreams. She indicated that one has to has K.A.S.H. in order to acquire anything that he/she wants in life. K.A.S.H. stands for the knowledge, attitudes, skills and habits necessary to achieve or acquire that thing. Do you have the K.A.S.H. to maintain a marriage? Have you been committed to your growth and development, both spiritually and physically? Prepare and God will do the rest. It all boils down to trust. Do you trust God with your future? Are you prepared to wait (and I use that term loosely) as long as you have to until He sends the right man along? Have you truly surrendered this part of you life to God? Ask yourself these questions and resolve in your heart that you will wait. Going our own way can be so destructive so let's stay faithful to our Heavenly Father.

Here are some Bible verses that have helped me and continue to help me tremendously: When people do not accept divine guidance, they run wild. But whoever obeys the law is joyful. (Proverbs 29:18) NLT Whoever sows to please their flesh, from the flesh will reap destruction; whoever sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life. Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. (Galatians 6:8-9) But seek FIRST his kingdom and his RIGHTEOUSNESS, and ALL these things will be given to you as well. (Matthew 6:33) Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like someone who looks at his face in a mirror and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. But whoever looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues in it—not forgetting what they have heard, but doing it—they will be blessed in what they do. (James 1:23-25)